Child sleep is one of the topics that worries parents the most and generates the most controversy, since there are different schools of thought about what is best for the baby: whether to sleep in bed with mom and dad, or rather in their crib and, if possible, in their own room, in order to promote their autonomy and, in some way, to “protect” the parents' intimacy.
Sleeping with parents during breastfeeding
While breastfeeding lasts, it is most likely that co-sleeping is the most comfortable option for mom and baby. This way, the baby can nurse on demand without mom having to get up.
Also, the baby’s survival instinct makes them sleep more peacefully when they are close to their mother. When the baby does not want to sleep, placing them in the parents' bed can be a comfortable solution to avoid getting up repeatedly.
However, if the baby sleeps with the parents, certain precautions should be taken to protect them, especially during the first year. An ideal solution is to install a "sidecar" crib next to the parents' bed. On the other hand, after a certain age, it would be advisable to establish sleep habits. It should be noted, in any case, that when co-sleeping is a conscious decision by the parents, it is totally respectable.
Tips for putting the baby to sleep.
- Keep your baby calm and quiet when feeding or changing them at night. Try not to stimulate or wake them up too much.
- Play with your baby during the day. Talking and playing with your baby during the day will help extend the hours they stay awake. This will help them sleep for longer periods at night.
- Put your baby in bed when they are drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on their own in their own bed. Holding or rocking them until they are fully asleep may make it harder for them to fall back asleep if they wake up during the night.
- Wait a few minutes before responding to your child’s complaints. See if they can fall asleep on their own. If they keep crying, check what is wrong, but do not turn on the light, play with them, or pick them up. If they are desperate or cannot calm down, consider what else might be bothering them. They might be hungry, have a wet or dirty diaper, have a fever, or not feel well.
The baby wakes up and cries at night
In some cases, co-sleeping is not practiced by family conviction, but because different circumstances have led parents to share their bed with the baby, and they cannot reverse the situation (they take the baby to their bed when he/she cries, the child only falls asleep in the parents' bed...). In these cases, the child wakes up and cries when they are tried to be put in their crib.
If this is your case, the situation can be remedied by taking some precautions:
- Put the crib in your room and make this operation an intermediate step to make the baby independent before moving the crib to the baby's room.
- Make the baby fall asleep alone: you can pamper the little one a bit in your room, but when it’s time to sleep, take them to their room. During the first days, it’s recommended to stay by their side until they fall asleep, and until they get used to sleeping alone.
Toddlers and Preschool Age Children
For many parents, bedtime for their toddlers can be the hardest part of the day. Children at this age often resist going to bed, especially if they have older siblings who are still awake. Follow the tips below to help your toddler develop good sleep habits.
1- Establish a calm routine before bedtime to help your child understand that it will soon be time to go to sleep. Take this opportunity to read a story, listen to quiet music, or give a bath. It may be tempting to play with your child before bedtime. However, active games can make your child too restless to sleep.
2- Be consistent. Bedtime should be the same every night. This helps your child know what to expect and helps establish healthy sleep patterns.
3- Allow your child to bring a favorite item to bed every night. Your child may sleep with a teddy bear, a special blanket, or some other favorite toy. These often help children fall asleep, especially if they wake up during the night. Make sure the item is safe. Look for ribbons, buttons, and other pieces that could pose a choking hazard. The stuffing or beads inside stuffed toys can also be dangerous.
4- Make sure your child is comfortable. Ask if they want some water, a nightlight left on, or the door left ajar. Try to take care of your child’s needs before bedtime so they don’t use them as excuses to delay going to sleep.
5- Do not let your child sleep in the same bed with you. This can make it harder for him or her to fall asleep alone.
6- Do not return to your child's room every time they complain or call you. Try the following instead:
- Wait several seconds before responding and delay your response each time they call. This will give them a chance to fall asleep on their own.
- Reassure your child by telling them you are there if they need you. If you need to enter the room, do not turn on the light, do not play with them, and do not stay too long.
- Move farther and farther away from your child's bed each time you enter their room until you can calm them by talking without entering their room.
- Remind them every time they call that it is bedtime.
Give it time. Helping your child develop good sleep habits can be challenging and it is normal to get frustrated when a child keeps you awake at night. Try to be understanding. A negative response from a parent can sometimes make the sleep problem worse.
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