Being parents is not easy. Teaching kids what is right and wrong is even more complicated. Parenting requires considering several important aspects that relate to daily reality, manners, ideals, ways of relating to the world, and education. The main tool to care for and "grow" is open communication.
It is important to educate them with positive values: to be good citizens, responsible, respectful, and good people.
"Answering their questions and telling them why we said something is the best approach. Another advantage is that children, from an early age, learn to develop their reasoning about life events instead of simply repeating what mom or dad says," explained psychologist Adriana Guraieb.
Furthermore, maintaining open communication channels helps avoid the formation of prejudiced and rigid minds. This allows the child to have a space to participate actively when they understand what is explained to them, making them more willing to receive suggestions.
If the situation becomes complicated, consulting a psychology specialist is recommended to clarify and develop a way to restore the bond.
Another very important aspect is setting limits, but sometimes it is not so easy. You have to think it through, propose it, maintain it, and respect what has been said because it is never a good idea to establish rules that will not be enforced. Limits should go hand in hand with discipline: first study, then have fun.
"This teaching will serve them for the rest of their lives, and when they enter working life, they will be prepared to fulfill responsibilities and then allow themselves social fun and expansion," detailed the specialist.
The role of the mother
The importance of the mother in the first months and year of life is well known. The relationship and bond formed between mother and child will determine the child's personality and behaviors later as an adult.
The experiences, relationships, and bonds the child establishes in the first year of life are key in developing their personality. From the very moment of conception, a very close emotional bond is established between mother and child, which grows stronger with birth, breastfeeding, and later parenting in the first years of life.
According to various studies, the way a mother interacts with her baby is related to the behavior children will have until adolescence. And according to these studies, children who are more spoiled or have serious behavioral problems correspond to those who had their needs unmet or who suffered various punishments, whether physical or psychological, in their early life.
Conversely, the more predictable and less spoiled children have been those cognitively and emotionally stimulated by their mothers and whose needs were met. This is why it is said that babies who are held in arms and promptly attended to when they cry and have demands are not spoiled but are being helped to become more secure children and adults, less conflicted and emotionally stable.
But what happens in cases where the mother is not present?
Often, due to family reasons or the mother's passing, the child does not have the luck to have the mother's presence. Although a mother is almost irreplaceable, in these cases, this role can be assumed by a grandmother or someone very close to the child responsible for their upbringing. In conclusion, we can affirm that parenting based on love, respect, and setting limits are the keys to a full childhood and adulthood.
And what about scoldings?
According to experts, reprimands should be corrective and promote reflection. In this article, we explain how to "scold" your child constructively. The goal of scolding a child should be to educate them, to help them learn and correct themselves. Therefore, reprimands must be constructive; otherwise, they will not lead to learning or improved behavior.
Whims, disobedience, fights between siblings, and acts of rebellion are usually the main causes of scoldings by parents.
But how do parental reproaches influence children's emotional state? Do they have a positive or negative function?
According to studies conducted in the United States, if parents scold with some violence, it can negatively affect the child's emotional development and impact their relationships with others in adulthood. While many parents consider scolding closely linked to parenting and educating children, it is necessary to learn not to exceed the tone.
Reprimands should be delivered in the calmest and slowest tone possible. And depending on the child's age, they should be reasoned, avoiding impositions. Correction should invite the child to reflect on what they did wrong so they can see it for themselves and modify their behavior.
It must not be forgotten that children only imitate what they see in their family environment. Thus, discipline, calmness, or balanced behavior cannot be demanded if they are not received from the parents. Parents' routines, organization, and serenity will always be the best tools to scold the child in the most constructive way possible.
Tips and recommendations for good parenting
– Reinforce the family's love for the child with attitudes and words.
– Parents, as a couple, should avoid mutual disparagement in front of the children.
– Pay attention if the child cries very frequently and if they have good health. If not, it is time to ask what is happening at home that is causing the child to show signs of suffering.
– As parents, maintain a flexible mind during the children's childhood. This is because children go through growth crises, adapting to new peers or possibly suffer bullying. If they are not prepared for psychosocial changes, it is difficult for them to understand because children shut down and do not talk.
– Do not allow shouting abuse, manifestations of violence, mistreatment of parents, siblings, or peers. Teach them that there are other ways to express the discomfort they feel.
– Avoid trying to compensate for the little time you see them with gifts and/or concessions to previously established limits.
– Be fully aware that as parents they learn a certain model of behavior. Be very careful with this since children copy, and if an aggressive situation occurs, it is most likely the child will learn that communication also involves verbal violence.
– Participate in their activities, whether infants, preteens, or teenagers. Accompanying them to a field, participating in games they like is very beneficial.
– When children misbehave, it is recommended to talk before punishing and explain why parents are upset. After this, a limit or sanction should be set explaining the reasons.
– Firmness in explanations transmits security to the children.
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